What they want for dinner....

What's for Dinner?!" is a question that can mean many things and elicit many reactions.
Too often the meaning isn't always met with the correlating reaction. It could simply mean, "I'm hungry" or "Did you care enough to make me something to eat" or "Ummmmm! That smells good" or "I need to be nurtured." The response to the question can vary from "I don't know, I just got home myself" to "I don't know, what are YOU making? =)" to "your favorite!" to "We have nothing to eat in the house" to "I don't know!"(accompanied with collapsing into tears and pulling out hair).

I have two suggestions to remove the tension that might arise from discrepancies in this area of communication.

The first is to plan your menus ahead.
KBYU has a program called The Food Nanny [http://www.byutv.org/foodnanny/]wherein a family is taught how to rescue family dinners. The first thing Liz Edmunds does after getting everyone on board and committed to getting together for dinner is help them develop a two week menu plan and shopping list.Each night of the week has a theme such as Comfort Foods, Mexican, Italian etc. This might help prompt menu ideas as well as establish a tradition your family can count on. Enlist family members to contribute their menu ideas/favorites. Check out ads for what is on sale that week and plan menus around those items.
Once menus and shopping lists are decided, shopping is done.

If this is done, it #1 Gives the cook the assurance that they know what is for dinner and that they have the ingredients on hand (so they are not on the defensive); and #2 Gives other family members the assurance that food is planned #3 Everyone knows that they are expected and going to be fed at dinner.#4 You're likely to eat more balanced and healthful meals with more variety too.

This advance preparation eliminates stress and allows you to focus on what is most important, being together. You'll be able to have more relaxed conversation and interaction. It takes a conscious decision and determined follow through to prepare for this important time of day.

The second suggestion involves making dinnertime a team effort and tradition. If you post the menu calendar for all to see and look at it the night before you can make sure you have anything thawed and ready for the next day. You may have other family members take turns helping prepare the meal (especially the ones they like or suggested). Take turns setting the table and cleaning up afterwords too. Set a time that everyone can be there and let them know you count on them being there.
Robert D. Hales said, “… When we sit down at the dinner table, is our whole family there? I remember as a young man asking permission to play baseball through dinnertime. “Just put my meal in the oven,” I said to my mother. She responded, “Robert, I really want you to take a break, come home, be with the family for dinner, and then you can go out and play baseball until dark.”
She taught all of us that where family meals are concerned, it’s not the food but the family interaction that nourishes the soul. My mother taught that the greatest love we give is within our homes.”

Dallin Oaks stated:
“Parents should act to preserve time for family [prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, and the other precious togetherness and individual one-on-one time that binds a family together and fixes children’s values on things of eternal worth.] This is most concerning because the time a family spends together “eating meals at home [is] the strongest predictor of children’s academic achievement and psychological adjustment.” Family mealtimes have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against children’s smoking, drinking, or using drugs. There is inspired wisdom in this advice to parents: what your children really want for dinner is you.”-- Dallin H. Oaks “Good, Better, Best” Liahona November 2007

You may not have children at home or may be single but we can all benefit from menu planning and shopping ahead. [If you live alone, try setting your table before you leave in the morning so you are "welcomed home to dinner" at the end of your day.] You are worth doing this for! There is a peace and comfort in being prepared and in knowing "what's for dinner."